Seventh Peer Review

Hi Brittney,

The perspective you have taken for this poem is very creative and I really enjoyed how you focused on starting it with a conversational tone. Your poem really interested me in the way that there was no constant rhythm. I feel that this added to the disjointedness you were trying to achieve by writing a poem about feeling completely out of place. I really enjoyed how you incorporated questions into your writing which reflect what aboriginal children and adolescent may have been thinking during these tough times. Keep up the great work. 🙂

Blog Five

Sixth Peer Review

Hi Anastasia,
I really enjoyed this small free verse poem. As small as it is, it is very direct, it raises questions and some very legitimate ideas like the families who waited and waited for their sons, husbands and fathers to come home. This makes a poem really good when you can fit facets of fact with fiction I’m not sure if you made a spelling error in the second last line where it is, “Waning to know if he made it back”, I’d just quickly edit that unless of course, you mean waning. I really enjoyed how you find that it is noble and courageous for people risking their lives. It’s just a lovely thing to read and I am impressed that it has influenced you to write a poem which is so raw, naked and to the point. You should try perhaps trying to write a longer more sophisticated poem, but I definitely enjoyed reading your work. 🙂

Week 8 Reflection

Fifth Peer Review

Hi Victoria,
Your take on what the meaning of The Measure means is really great. I love how you include techniques like symbolism, rhetoric and metaphors and also how you follow up with examples. If you took a stanza from the poem which really focuses directly on the point, I feel it would work exceptionally well. Being super picky, the only thing I would change in your entry is not saying the author’s first name, but always referring to them by surname. I found this really easy to read (which is awesome) and I love how you included a summary. I really enjoyed the connection you made with this poem and the badge of honour, and taking your own perception on ‘friend and foe’ at the end.
Awesome job.

https://victoriakotsoris1blog.wordpress.com/2016/05/06/week-five-blog/comment-page-1/#comment-11

Fourth Peer Review

Hi Tamara!
I really enjoyed this free verse poem. I had to actually read it a few times until I finally understood the grasp of it. I think it is really interesting how you have worded this. The contrast between the pain in the first 2 stanzas and the beauty in the last stanza really brings life – no pun intended – to this poem. I love the way you emphasise words such as “Alive” by placing it alone on the final line. It really gives it that extra push of feeling. Also in the first line, “Can’t move. Can’t breathe. Can’t think.” It again gives this more power, and already makes me as a reader ask myself, ‘why can’t you do any of these things?’ Also, I enjoyed the words used to make the connection to the tree by saying, ‘glued’ and ‘stumble but can’t fall’.
Overall, I really enjoyed this free verse, it was a wonderful read.

Alive

Third Peer Review

I love this! This is such a unique creative post.
The notes I would critique you on a quite small ones, which through proof reading with yourself and another person would be quickly identifiable.
The 6th line, “To where the the rusting bones of history”. The word ‘the’ is duplicated. Also with this sentence, I am unsure if you missed a question mark or if you aren’t asking a question at all. Simple revision, and it will be as spectacular as the rest.
The 11th line, “Where a beam bright light”. Should it be ‘beaming’ or ‘a beam of’? Also, I was just a bit confused with the 25th line “The plant makes me feel warmth, stimulating the braincells that are left in..” I feel a bit lost in its meaning. Again, very small critiques I am picking on here but would make all the difference in the world.
I really loved the imagery of “Glowing like the sunset/In the afternoon during the summer”. It gives such a magnificent colour to the poem. I also found that “Will I/Just be washed of the sins that are chaining me down/Setting me free from the slavery of my mistakes” was really interesting. The final lines, “Only one way to find out..” leaves me with suspense and I just want to know what happens!
Wonderful read. 🙂

Tree of Life

Second Peer Review

Hi Anna!

I really enjoyed reading this entry and your take on beauty within nature. I agree with your perspective of this painting as being ‘pure and realistic’ in comparison to the others we saw at the Art Gallery. Also, I found that the connection between the golden colour and the golden value you made was absolutely fantastic. Your interpretation of this painting really emphasises that this painting really impacted you. Really enjoyed reading your blog. 🙂

#3 Landscape.. Our Interpretations

 

First Peer Review

Hi Josh!
I really enjoyed this blog entry although I would love to read more that included how your personal history influenced you to have this particular understanding. I enjoyed how you used the idea of ‘purpose’ is very subjective of the individuals beliefs. In relevance to this your last paragraph states that everything on earth has a purpose – which contradicts your point.
Consider Kim Scott’s text to not be directly about the abuse of the animals and more about Bobby’s experience of the new culture vs indigenous culture. I understand though the disgust of massacring animals for money but maybe we should consider a new direction of thought. For example, instead of looking at the negatives the whites brought to the country, we could consider how their utilitarian aspects benefit human resources to keep us alive?
Quite emotionally investing stuff.

Posted to: https://joshuajenkins1.wordpress.com/2016/03/18/purpose-perspective-connection/